Week 10 BOC: Lawyer Jokes

Joey Heric: I'm ready now, Your Honor. I just wish to represent myself.

Judge: Are you a lawyer?

Joey Heric: No, but if I keep killing people, I figure they'll let me in hell anyway.

The Practice

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!".
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4.  Let me run
those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice,
"How much do you want it to be?"

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: How many lawyer jokes are going around the Web?
A: Three!  (All the rest are true!)

The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his 
sins: 
    1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they
       were guilty.
    2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.
    3) Overcharging fees to many clients.
    4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a
       controversial case. 

And the list goes on for quite a while.

The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case.  He admits all these 
things, but argues, "Wait, I've done some charity in my life also."  
St. Peter looks in his book and says,"Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to 
a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, 
correct?" The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, "Yes." 

St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, "Give this guy 15 cents

and tell him to go to hell."